We have started a five-month stay in Bonn, Germany: my sabbatical time. It’s the first new residence we’ve set up in 13 years. Despite our lack of recent experience we instantly adopted a number of conventions that we’ve established over 42 years of marriage, all implicitly designed to minimize transactions costs in our household.
My towel goes on the right of the towel bar, my pills go to the right of my wife’s, I get the right-hand closet, etc. These choices help us avoid confusion and reduce the need to think about things early in the morning when one is barely awake.
There are numerous others, and I’m sure our marriage is typical. Indeed, I would think that the minimization of transactions costs is a major source of economies in marriage/partnership; those marriages/partnerships that are successful are those that are better able to reduce the transactions costs inherent in living together.
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I’m really amazed at the simplicity of this idea and the frustration avoided from it. As a single man I will certainly take this into consideration, especially since my girlfriend is spending the night at my place more and more. Since we aren’t living in the same house and constantly readjusting our living space we’ll need to avoid these little frustrations in the future.
Thank you!
Two words: separate bathrooms. The “transactions” have much lower costs when performed separately.
So you’re suggesting that marriages where one falls into a routine are those most likely to succeed? Sounds to me like you’re reversing the causality there.
My girlfriend’s stuff always goes on the right because she’s always right. I’ve already learned that lesson at age 23.
We have a towel rail in the bathroom with an upper bar and a lower bar. From time to time we swap which bar we hang our towels on, but generally fail to tell the other person when we do this. Confusion reigns until ‘normality’ is restored.
On the other hand we choose which side of the bed to sleep on based on who needs to be closer to the alarm clock, i.e. who needs to wake up first. This causes no problems at all.
Does this imply that bathroom habits are harder to change than bedroom ones?
Reminds me of the old joke about the economist explaining to his class how he was once watching his wife prepare dinner and then clear the table and wash the dishes – she makes lots of different, inefficient movements. So he starts pointing this out to her and suggesting ways she can improve her efficiency around the house…he stops there, and the class ask how efficient she is now at doing the household chores…”Very”, he says – “Now I do them all!”.
My husband and I have developed similar conventions, and employ them in hotel rooms as well.
I assume you’ll be spending your sabbatical at IZA. I look forward to the papers that will result from your time there. Viel Spass!
I’m with Mitch–the best thing that ever happened to my marriage was getting separate bathrooms.