Wall Street has always been a legendary joke generator — with a specialty in gallows humor.
So I ask our readers: in this very unfunny time, what are the Wall Street jokes of the moment?
To prime the pump, I offer up something a wise gentleman told me the other night, prescribed to make all Americans feel a bit better:
Yes, it’s true that the Chinese have been selling us toxic toothpaste, toxic pet food, toys with toxic lead paint — but all the while we were selling them toxic investments.
Image taken from Jaap Steinvoorte and deovolenti.
and 
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My favorite from last year that might be able to be applied to some current companies (I haven’t checked the numbers)
Ever since Tuesday Bear Sterns is trading for less than Alex Rodriguez.
I wish I could credit someone with that joke, if anyone knows who started it let me know.
What is the difference between a credit default swap and a beanie baby?
You can still sell a beanie baby.
What’s the difference between a large bag of manure on your lawn and a wall street worker? One’s a lying sack of shcrap and the other is fertilizer.
Only Insiders laugh at this stuff
Two investment bankers take a much-needed break and go duck hunting. After three hours and no luck, one banker turns to the other and asks, “Do you think we need to throw the dog higher?”
At a banker meeting meeting, one old gentleman makes the outrageous claim that “The market has stablized.” When pressed to explain his views, goes on. “Forty years ago when I got into this business, I sold fifty shares of my company stock and had enough money to purchase a brand-new 1967 Ford pickup. Last week, I checked it out, and if I sold another fifty shares, I’d have enough money to buy a 1967 Ford pickup. So, the market has stablized.”
Heard on the trading floor regarding the $25.00 most bankers have for dinner:
“I’ll take three shares of Lehman – and I expect my change!”
“What is a SuperSenior Credit Default Swap?”
“Having a credit default swap on your balance sheet is like having an egg in your pantry to fall back on when you might miss supper. Just think of a very senior – say 70 year old – egg.”
“Why couldn’t the Bear protect his stern?”
“He was trying to shake the s*** off his paws.”
Or one which may be from Switzerland: “AIG – American Innocence and Greed”.
“Goldman’s sacks? He is delivering them at Warren’s place”
“You mean Hardy borrowed that line from Morgan? ‘Another fine mess you’ve got me into, Stanley?’”
Which of these is not like the others:
A) Syphilis
B) Herpes
C) AIDS
D) A Condo in Miami
Answer: A. You can get rid of syphilis.