When your co-author is your colleague and also your significant other, confusion often follows. Take this recent post by Arnold Kling on the causes of inequality, where he says:
I think that Betsey Stevenson/Justin Wolfers marriages are another big factor. That is, when highly educated men start looking for wives who are stimulating companions as opposed to kitchen-floor moppers, this reduces cross-class marriages and thereby raises inequality.
I’m flattered by the cite. I think. And so is Betsey (she thinks). But we’re not sure how flattered to be.
Which Betsey Stevenson was Arnold referring to?
Most likely, he’s referring to my co-author Betsey Stevenson, and this is a reference to the Stevenson-Wolfers theory describing the new era of hedonic marriage. More entertainingly, perhaps he’s referring to my significant other, Betsey Stevenson. She’s no “kitchen-floor mopper,” and so he is describing the rise of relationships like ours — relationships between intellectual equals.
Or finally, he could be referring to my marriage to Betsey Stevenson. That is, he’s referring to non-marriages. Betsey and I have learned that couples can form healthy unions without the default contract offered through formal marriage.
and 
. You can also watch it on 
Justin,
I am intrigued by the last paragraph. I did not know your marriage is a non-marriage. This is an option that I have thought about often. Can you expand on your reasons for choosing this as opposed to the “default contract.” And maybe some cost/benefit analysis of both. Perhaps you can blog about this in the future. Or maybe you already have written on this and can point to a previous blog/article.
Thanks!
Not to get all NOW, but I’m trying to get past the “stimulating companion” vs “floor mopper” thing. I think smart girls know you gotta mop your floor from time to time. We just don’t talk about it.
Does mopping the kitchen floor preclude being your mate’s intellectual equal? Or are educated, “stimulating” women expected to hire (female) maids and let someone from a lower social and economic rung on the ladder do the dirty work? Sooner or later, smart dudes, the odds are a woman will be washing your dirty floors, whether you marry her or pay her.
If they were truly smart, they’d buy a robot to mop for them! I love my scuba!!
Dear Ben D
Ok – a friend of mind writes this piece- explains as follows- “it is not usually the case that vanity disturbs scientific enterprise”- perhaps he’s wondering if it is possible to eliminate vanity or is wondering about how science can be rid of the unhealthy part- I say it’s the latter- you guys are full of yourselves – except perhaps my friend- his name appears on title page (not on the cover). It is not easy to give up 1000′s of years of service– Ladies! It is time to start. But- by the same token, it is not easy for a man to admit the capacity to have a real original idea. That too needs to be acknowledged- There is much more than talent involved here- definately of the genius variety (his’) and yes the result of a collaboration between friends- that is it.
Freedom at last for us all!
that quote gets the dichotomy all wrong: the choice is between intelligence and beauty- beauty leads to more passion, and intelligence leads to more fulfillment- unfortunately, there is no easy way out of this quandary- love, in the end, is but choosing
#1
If you need someone to explain their reasoning or logic behind not needing to be married to have a fulfilling, meaningful relationship then it probably isn’t for you.
Choosing to not enter into a ‘default contract’ such as marriage is a personal decision. Asking Justin to explain his (and Ms. Stevenson’s) reasoning is more than a little bit invasive, don’t you think?
That said, I can see where many people ‘need’ to be married in order to obtain medical/dental/societal benefits or to uphold their own religious beliefs.
Having a marriage certificate is little more than a validation by the state in which you committed to your partner…If someone feels like they need this validation then maybe there is an opportunity to re-think the foundation the relationship is built upon in the first place.
Dear Frakenduf;
point- it may get it wrong-, but it’s the real truth- vanity did disturb the enterprise- we were all duped- til now!Thanks for your original contribution to this matter.