Quotes Uncovered: Who First Said "If You Can't Beat Em … "

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Each week, I’ve been inviting readers to submit quotations for which they want me to try to trace the origin, using The Yale Book of Quotations and my own research. Here is the latest round:

Josh asked:

If you can’t beat them, join them.

The Yale Book of Quotations, which attempts to trace all famous quotations to their earliest findable occurrence, lists this as a proverb. The earliest citation given, in the form “If you can’t lick ‘em, jine ‘em,” is from the Atlantic Monthly, February 1932, where it is described as one of Senator James E. Watson‘s “favorite sayings.”

Hayley Lauren asked:

I have been trying to find the roots of this quote, and if this is its original form:

“There have only ever been four or five stories in this world, we just tell them in different forms.”
Wow!

This thought has probably been expressed by many people. The best-known version is from Willa Cather, O Pioneers! (1913): “There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before.”

John asked:

I remember seeing a phrase a long time ago that went something along the lines of “If it were not for women, all the money in the world would be worthless.” Just curious if I am remembering it correctly and who said it.

The YBQ has the following:

“If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.” Aristotle Onassis, quoted in Barbara Rowes, The Book of Quotes (1979).

Next week: My long-awaited response to questions about the origin of “the whole nine yards”!

Do any readers have any other quotations whose origins they would like me to attempt to trace?

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COMMENTS: 49

  1. nobody.really says:

    “There are only two or three human stories, and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely as if they had never happened before.”

    Hm. I recall hearing that there are only seven topics of conversation — and two of them play for the St. Louis Cardinals.

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  2. Trevor L says:

    “Up the creek without a paddle”

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  3. Christopher says:

    “Sacred Cows make the best hamburgers.”

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  4. Jared C. Bernstein says:

    This is a useful service; I can’t beat it, so I’ll join it.

    How about “The most practical thing is the world is a good theory”? I ‘ve heard it attributed to Wm. James and Lord Kelvin, but I haven’t found any citation.

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  5. Jim says:

    The book, “A Whack on the Side of the Head” by Roger von Oech credits “Sacred Cows make the best steaks,” to Richard Nicolosi. It doesn’t list a source, and I don’t know when Nicolosi used it or whether he was first.

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  6. Dan M. says:

    “God watches over drunks and little children.”

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  7. Kristie C-B says:

    As slow as molasses in January

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  8. Derek N. says:

    I would like to know the origin of “bite the dust” or “to bite the dust” – you know, as in, “….another one bites the dust…..”

    Thanks.

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