Potential customers of eHarmony’s imminent gay/straight dating service might want to read this before selecting their profile picture. The dating site OkCupid analyzed more than 7,000 member profile pictures to identify the components of a “successful” (as measured by messages received from other users) profile picture. Women who “flirted” with the camera received more messages than those who smiled directly at the camera. And those infamous male “ab shots” also generate more messages than average, although the effect is short-lived. Of course, OkCupid only recommends the ab shot to certain men: “We would never suggest to a Fitzgerald or a Dave Eggers to limit his profile to 100 words, and so why should guys with great bodies keep their best asset under wraps?” (HT: Brock Harris) [%comments]
Just Say “Flirt”
TAGS: online dating
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I know a few couples whose online ventures eventually led to very happy marriages.
Those success stories are encouraging, but I wonder how people react when their profiles and messages get very few responses.
An older widow recently told me that she gave up her attempts at online dating after getting very few responses. And of course we guys are notorious for our fragile male egos.
Rejection is still rejection, whether online or in person.
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Met my wife on eharmony. Don’t remember if she flirted with the camera or not, but I don’t care. She’s gorgeous, and smart, and is an outstanding person, and I was very lucky to meet her.
I didn’t get many responses either. It’s probably because I am short and not very good looking.
This reinforces the concept of the double standard in our society:
1. women, try to look sexy
2. men, try to look powerful
I thought we were moving past this cliche in the 70′s, but it’s hanging on….. Depressing.
Online dating can be fun, if you’re smart about it and actually treat it like you care. OKCupid did another study, this one on first contacts, and found that using texting language like “ur” and “r u” got your message thrown in the trash 95% of the time. I looked at the survey here:
http://taoofbachelorhood.com/2009/09/15/online-dating-words-matter/
Also, testing is as important in online dating as in any direct-sales proposition. If you’re getting no responses, try something new. “Just be yourself” is dead wrong – you need to find, and then be, the best you.
Do we still have to see online and off a two separate critters? As more people get online and it loses it’s elitism it reflects society at large.Yes looks do matter for men. Flirtiness and chutz[pah for women.
Has anyone done a study of ab shots versus bicep shots, since some men are excruciatingly fond of their upper arms?
I met my wife on match.com, and its the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn’t get tons of interest in my profile, and it took over 9 months to meet the one for me. People just need to remember that it only takes one success to make it all worth it, and patience will eventually be rewarded.