Potential customers of eHarmony’s imminent gay/straight dating service might want to read this before selecting their profile picture. The dating site OkCupid analyzed more than 7,000 member profile pictures to identify the components of a “successful” (as measured by messages received from other users) profile picture. Women who “flirted” with the camera received more messages than those who smiled directly at the camera. And those infamous male “ab shots” also generate more messages than average, although the effect is short-lived. Of course, OkCupid only recommends the ab shot to certain men: “We would never suggest to a Fitzgerald or a Dave Eggers to limit his profile to 100 words, and so why should guys with great bodies keep their best asset under wraps?” (HT: Brock Harris) [%comments]
Just Say “Flirt”
TAGS: online dating
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But look on the bright side, Kevin, at least you have positive self-esteem . . .
If you are a man shorter than 5′ 9″ then you are toast regardless of your appearance. The irony is that women who react negatively to judgment based on weight think nothing of judging based on height. Worse, weight is a measure that can be changed in many cases.The rack isn’t appealing as a mechanism to add height. None of us should allow these factors to influence us yet they do. Maybe it’s “chemistry.”
I kept attracting married men who were looking for a fling or men who had issues with women in general.
Had eharmony cancel my account and have vowed never to do online dating again.
Some sites like eHarmony or Amicurious (for gay men) will only introduce you to your matches (based on a psychological formula). So with these sites, you still will be dealing with pictures, and making decision based on what you see, but knowing, that these people are your matches as far as your personality goes.
So there is much more to it, than just someone’s looks.
Ken
I find the majority of people on dating sites are insincere and only seeking to validate themselves; it really has nothing to do with you. It’s all about them. People just want to be flattered and to know they ‘still got game’. When you meet, and fail to flatter them further, it’ll be on to the next empty hot air balloon.
Thanks, but I’d prefer going to the bar, and meeting people the old fashioned way.
I met my husband of nearly 15 years through a personal ad that didn’t generate a lot of response. For him, it was the only one he ever answered. Those ads didn’t have pictures, but I’m sure someone could have produced a study showing what phrases prompted the most responses. But getting lots of responses is not the point. What matters is finding one good match. If your ad filters out men looking for someone who is not you, so much the better.
@Bonnie, before you despair, I’d encourage you to go to the OKtrends site and look at the full study – it’s not just sexy women and powerful men.
For example, they show that some pics where people don’t show their faces at all get a great response if that person is doing something interesting.
Nancy, similarly, they also analyse word use. Amusingly, starting a contact with ‘yo’ gets more responses than starting with ‘hello’!
I met my husband through eHarmony. I have to say if you are honest and sincere the site will likely return decent matches. Now, of course there were matches that I wasn’t physically attracted to and a few profiles that I didn’t really care for. Overall, the people I continued communication with and ended up meeting in real life were nice and attractive and I could have had a relationship with a couple of them. But I met my husband after a few dates and bazinga I was totally in love. Our respective pictures weren’t of abs or flirty because we weren’t looking to maximize responses, merely find the “right responses”. And who’da thunk it? It worked!